Snow Falling

There is something absolutely magical about snow falling. I am always in awe of the erie silence that falls around the house as it lightly touches down on our roof and the ground around us. I love how from somewhere it picks up little hints of light so it resembles glitter falling all around you. Last night was our first big snowfall and it was magnificent. It was glorious to be able to lean up against the window and just watch the big flakes fall luxuriously down around us. Something about snow makes me feel like a little kid all over again.

Ipod Incapable

Nicholas and I were watching television the other night when yet another commercial for an Ipod dock/vacuum cleaner/life companion appeared. I asked what the appeal of the Ipod is because I just don't get it. Nicholas explained that it was like when you had a walkman. I sheepishly admitted that I never had a walkman, cassette or CD. Nicholas was amazed at this new news...maybe he thinks I am always on the brink of fads and things, but I never had a walkman of any sort. Nicholas told me he thinks that this has made me incapable of understanding Ipods. I just won't get it. Because I really don't get it. Sure, I love music. I love listening to Christmas music at home, and in the car, but I don't think that I need a perpetual soundtrack going on in the background of my everyday events. Maybe I am weird.

Hospital Bag

As I am slowly reaching my due date Nicholas suggested that I should begin packing my bag for the hospital. Yeah we are almost there! I am trying to think of what I should pack and for the life of me cannot remember what I need. Due to a number of various painkillers all mixed together, I cannot remember the hospital experience very well. I remember when I came home and finally unpacked my bag I thought that a bunch of the things I had brought were kind of silly as I had never used them; I just can't remember what those silly items were. So I went to a baby website to get a list of what to take, but even that seemed silly: aromatherapy candles, a bathing suit for your husband, cd's. Does anyone have any "can't live without" items that I should pack? What did you find that you did and didn't need? I have the obvious down: shampoo, soap, slippers, jammies, clothes home, etc. But the fluff things, what do you think I need?

Knocked Up and Proud of It!

So as you can see, I am pregnant. 34 weeks to be exact, and I am proud to announce that next week I am declared full term! That's right, hopefully any minute I will go and we will have a bundle of joy here for Christmas. Maybe we will name him Jesus with the hispanic pronunciation. What do you think? Everyone seems to think that I am going to go early however with Emma being two weeks late, I am not planning on being relieved from this misery any time before Christmas, let alone before the Super Bowl. Thought I would show my pregnany belly (and our Christmas tree) with you, enjoy!

Blessings

As November closes out I am realizing how much fun Nick, Kazoo, and I are having around here. As the holiday season envelops us with its loveliness, I can't help but realize how blessed I am. One of the reminders of my blessings is our Christmas tree. Usually we have our ornaments and then the filler bulbs and candy, but this year we have so many ornaments we don't have room for any filler. I see ornaments marking our engagement, wedding, new house, baby, graduations, championships, and on and on. Not only had God blessed us with people who lovingly choose these ornaments but the events in our lives in which they mark for us.

I am blessed with the best husband a girl could hope for. He is such a good Daddy and he really cares. He comes to all of Emma's and my doctor's appointments and he asks questions and is involved. When I am just too tired or sore, he takes over with the household duties and makes sure that I am resting. In the third trimester I turn into a beast and he is patient and loving with him, letting me tell him he is horrible for getting me into this mess. He always makes sure we are taken care of, warm enough, have our slippers on, and are happy. He encourages me to do whatever I want, start a business, sell jewelry, work for Eli Lily: he has been the backbone and support system in everything I have strived for and will strive for in the future. He is one of those incredible people that people love to be around and everyone gets along with. He still makes me laugh so hard I am scared I may pee myself and I am proud to walk beside him, in every day life, and through our marriage.

I am blessed by Kazoo. She is such a little me, not only with her soft heart that breaks when she is yelled at, but also with her strong will which makes her stick with something if that is what she decides she really wants. She is so much like her daddy in that she is hilarious. She knows how to be a ham and be silly to get people to laugh. She loves to dance and sing, jump and clap, she loves life and hasn't experienced anything bad. My Grandma describes Emma's life in the phrase that "she only knows love", and it is so true. She is growing up to be such a sweet little lady that hopefully will have such a heart for the Lord and helping people.

I am blessed with our house. I love our house. Nick's brother suggested over the weekend that we sell our house and I have no idea why we would ever do that. It is such a gift to us to spend all of our time together in a nice house that is big enough for everyone and all of our possessions, and is slowly beginning to show our fingerprints on its life.

I am blessed with our car. It is such a good little car. As some of you know we were talking about getting a new car with the baby coming and I eventually felt that was so foolish: a family of four should be able to fit into a five passenger vehicle. So we are keeping it and I am so glad we are. There is nothing wrong with our car and we are teaching our children and hopefully leading by example that we don't go and get new things when what we have is still perfectly good.

I am blessed with family. My family and Nicholas' family is now my family and I feel so blessed to be surrounded by people that truly care about me and about all of us. When I feel small and worthless all I need to do is talk to family and I am reminded that they would miss me if I were gone...at least I hope they would (teehee!)

All in all, you can see I am a blessed lady. And I know that I am a blessed lady because I love the Lord with all of my heart and I know that He is watching me. He is my Abba, Daddy, who keeps me under his wing, accepts me back when I have my hard headed moments and walk out on him. He is amazing and has blessed me besides my wildest dreams. Are you blessed too?

O Christmas Tree

So our tree is up and I just love it! This year proved to be somewhat tricky as this is the first year with a toddler doing her toddling around the tree. No worries though, we were sure to hang plastic ornaments at the bottom. I have been trying not to care about her playing with those ornaments because I always encourage curiosity and creativity with her. The other issue we faced is the garland on the tree. As you can see in the crazy picture of me above, it is a gumdrop garland...real preserved gumdrops, which Emma likes to try to eat. And so after several trys I think I have it high enough on the tree that she can't get her Sloth from Goonies looking teeth on the garland without it looking very odd that the garland is up so high. This morning when I was coming downstairs for the first time, that blissful smell of pine hit me, and I just closed my eyes and paused on the stairs...moments like that are what the Christmas season are made of. Small miniscule moments that turn into memories that last us our whole lives through. Hope you are enjoying the smell too!

Almost Time

The bassinet is up and ready for Calvin to arrive. My due date is in the first week of January but I was told at the last appointment that they are considering me full term at 35 weeks...and if I did my math right this is my 34th week, so I guess any day now! I have been so uncomfortable but the doctor prescribed baby sling shot seems to be helping when the velcro isn't gouging my skin or the elastic is cutting off my circulation. This week is the job of picking out and purchasing a crib mattress. The crib is almost done and then it is just the finishing touches to get done before Baby # 2 is here! I am so excited this is almost done but also so freaked out that we are about to be parents of two children...ahhh! We are just so thankful for everything, but at this time I think we are most thankful for our supportive family and a big house for all of these children!

Happy Black Friday

So we all survived Thanksgiving! Yeah! It was a very relaxing day aside from my mom asking every five minutes if she could have Emma today. One no should suffice right? And thankfully I didn't go "Uncle Doug" on anyone...yet at least. So now we have the looming Black Friday. Where people are crazy and this year, surprisingly, things are not that on sale. I did see some things I would like: Home Depot has poinsettia's for 1.86 each, somewhere else had 9' garland for a price that seemed good. I am also all about the decorating the house this weekend. And here is what I have decided. This is the last year we are going anywhere for the weekend after Thanksgiving. Here's what I am saying: when I was a little girl we hardly ever got our tree early. When we did, my parents would put the tree up and it would stand naked until a couple of days before Christmas or it would be propped up outside to wait until we could get to it. When I was an only child I remember where we would actually decorate the tree and my dad would put me on his shoulders to adorn the top with the final piece, the beautiful angel. Those are some of my fondest memories. So since I have been married I have always insisted we have a family time together where we decorate the tree. Who finds it enjoyable when you are sticking ornaments up as fast as you can just to get it done? I love going through the ornaments with Nicholas talking about where we picked this one up from or how his mom made him that one, or my grandma gave me this one. And I realize that the tree itself is a huge undertaking, not to mention the decorating of the entire interior and exterior of our mammoth house, which is why we need an entire weekend. During the weekend I am envisioning Emma giggling at all of the silly ornaments, being amazed by the lights, and loving to gently touch all of the wonderful surprises that are pulled out of the boxes while we all listen to Christmas music and sip eggnog. This year our epiphany of a Christmas tradition is being altered slightly due to holiday plans. While I am happy about those two, we came to the conclusion that this is the last year we will be traveling.

Basically this is what it boils down to: I had some bleak, dark, awful childhood moments. This is my time to make up for those times. I am making memories I want now and ensuring that Emma has the best childhood memories one can possibly have. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend as we are officially in the opening of the Christmas season. This is the time I have been looking forward to all year!

Bring It On!

So I had a Doctor's appointment yesterday and everything is going well. Except for the fact that I feel like I am dying. But you know, it comes with the territory. I tried to have a chat with myself that I am not the only one who feels this way, every woman who has ever had a baby understands what I am going through. So I am going to do my best to get our house clean for the holidays and get the decorating done and the nursery completed. I am trying to have a new outlook on this pregnancy. Yesterday at my appointment the doctor told me it looked like my ankles weren't swollen (yeah for sexy ankles again!) and she also told me there is an elastic contraption you can wear so your pelvis and back aren't in pain. Thank you, I will take 2! So she wrote me a prescription and off to Alick's we went. When we got there Emma was amazed by the electric toilets and I was amazed by this elastic contraption that was prescribed that was $75.00. It went around your back, there were arm holes and leg holes, and basically had the set up of a superhero outfit. Nick said all I needed was a cape. So being the frugal ninja that I am, I politely ducked out of the dressing room (where you can buy old lady bras for 10 bucks) and skipped my pregnant self home. I am happy to report that my gut instinct of the crazy elastic contraption being too much was right, they have the same thing at Babies R Us for 30.00. Go me! So that is all that has been going on here this week. Tonight I will be getting everything ready for Thanksgiving. Hope you all have a fun and festive day, talk to you soon!

I need your opinion!

So I am writing in the hopes that you will all be able to give me some feedback regarding something that Nicholas and I have been going round and round about. The issue here is Thanksgiving. First of all let me just begin by venting my frustrations to you about Thanksgiving. It is just not going to be the same this year. My Grandma has decided to not make a turkey but make a turkey breast which we don't think will feed me, let alone everyone else. So we are scrambling to tiptoe around her feelings but also ensure there will be enough food. The next thing that is not the same is that Thanksgiving for Nick's family is at his sisters house. While that is not a big deal, as most of you know, I do not like change. I would be happy if traditions were like school...there's a set schedule, you know what you are having for lunch, and then you go home. I don't like new recipes, new locations, or new decorations. I know, I am weird.

The dilemma we are facing this Thanksgiving is the one of traveling. I am in severe pain now with the pregnancy. I can barely get out of bed and my pelvis hurts soooo bad. It hurts to sit anywhere for too long and my legs tend to have that hurt numby feeling from a pinched nerve. I have just expected that I am going to have to just suck it up and travel the some three hour trip to Nick's sisters house. Now however my absolutely wonderful husband is saying that we are not going if I am going to be in pain the entire time. Yikes! I tried to tell him he could just go without me with Emma, I don't want to hold him down but he doesn't want to go without me. There's no way I am going to be able to fake feeling fine and even if I could it would be a little weird. "Oh yeah I feel fine, the baby must have developed some type of vacuum to float around in as he now feels weightless." Um no. So does anyone have any suggestions? Do I just agree that we don't go? Do I just tell him that we can go and suffer? I don't know and I need your opinion...If it were up to me I would just sit at home from now until the baby is born in dirty sweats.

I shouldn't blog mad

So I guess the lesson of my last blog is that I shouldn't blog when I am mad as I am mean to Nick. I am however leaving the blog up instead of deleting it so I can use it as a lesson to myself of how mean I can and shouldn't be. I am also leaving it up as a warning to Nick (muh ah ah ah!) and a reminder to everyone else...don't cross my path or I will write bad things about you on the internet! The picture above it Emma's "welcome to the world" letter from the President and Mrs. Bush we received for Emma. It is actually an older picture but it is super cute so I thought I would post it. Today I am not doing much. Jaime (or Jimmy as Emma calls her) is going to be at my Grandma's so we will probably go over there. It will be great to see them but if for no other reason to have someone else watch Emma. I sound like a really bad mom but really it is just because my pelvis hurts sooo bad!

Husband Obtains Abstinence

So in an effort to begin to cross things off my to-do list I finally began to order wedding pictures for my family. I know I am such a slacker but one of the attributes of being a slacker is that you just don't care. So I was happily copying away feeling good about myself...by the way I did have to download some 300 pics to winkflash for this. And lo and behold I found that we are missing pictures. Now these aren't like, oh four years ago I thought I took a picture of a bird. No these are pictures we took on our digital camera that are in our wedding album but cannot be found on our computer...a little weird and annoying to say the least. The other annoying factor of this situation is my husband. Granted I am hormonal but I came downstairs to see if he could help, practically in tears, and he took maybe 15 seconds to tell me they must just be gone, before going back to whacking people on his video game...trust me I will be remembering this the next time someone wants sex. And by the way we are still getting over a cold which means we are back to clearing our throats every 15.2 seconds. I am anticipating us getting over the cold for the next six months. Oh joy.

In case you didn't know...I am pregnant

Okay so here's what I hate. Everyone keeps saying to me, wow you look pregnant...oh you think? I am 9 months pregnant! Of course I look pregnant! In pregnancy news I am officially wishing I could not feel my lower extremities, I think it would be a lovely thing. It is a hard thing to explain and unless you have been pregnant you probably have no idea what idea I mean but my girl parts just really ache. Pelvis area I guess you would call it from having a child sitting on me. I have also been having contractions a lot which I knew before were Braxton Hicks and yesterday they began to actually hurt. Again I learned just Braxton Hicks. Apparently it is perfectly find for me to have contractions for the next month and feel like I am going to die. I also have a foot in my lung. It hurts and I am hoping this baby comes out an Air Jordan or something to that effect. And at the end of this comes labor.

They say that being uncomfortable in the last few months of pregnancy is God's way of getting you ready for labor. I have heard people say that you finally get so tired of being tired and uncomfortable that you just want the kid out and you don't care how much pain you have to endure to make it happen. And that brings to me to the actual labor. Lets just get specific here. I have never been in labor. I never had contractions, we never timed. I went to the hospital with Emma and they induced me. And nothing freaking happened so they sent me home. And then they induced me again and again nothing, so I had a C-Section. This time I am going for a VBAC which is Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. I am excited about going through labor which I know sounds weird to those of you who have endured the pains of labor. But after I had Emma I was pretty depressed that I didn't go through labor and it was something that I had to work through. But I would really love to be able to go through labor.

The scary part however is the death factor. I had to sign a sheet at my last doctor's appointment stating that I understand the risk that I, the baby, or both may die in a vbac. Granted the chances are slim. The death part is from the chance that my c-sec scar would tear open (yikes!). The chances of that happening are only 1-2%. And in that 1-2% 1 out of 1000 people die or the baby dies from something catastrophic. I know that there is always a chance of dying in child birth so I am figuring those odds of something happening are about the same odds as if I had another c-section. But somehow having to sign my name to that piece of paper was like signing my life away. I know that sounds weird.

Another reason I think I am so scared of dying is all of the crap I have heard this time around while being pregnant. A friend of mine only had about two weeks left and went in to labor and her baby was born with the cord around his neck. He was alive when he was born but they couldn't save him. Another girl I know told me of her friend who just died a couple of weeks ago in labor when a blood clot traveled from her leg to her heart. I have also been reading multiple stories of women who contracted breast cancer while they were pregnant. I guess I am just scared of all of the factors in the chance of dying. With Emma it was all flowers, hearts, and sunshine.

So that is what has been going on in our neck of the woods, what has been going on with you?

We're Back!

This picture was taken while Emma and Daddy were staying busy while I was shopping...I love the expression on her face!

So for those of you who were worried, I had stepped away from the computer to go on vacation. We went to Brown County, Indiana. For those of you who have never been there we highly recommend. I had been going there with my parents since I was a young girl and Nicholas and I have been rushing to get down there every chance we have since we have been together. Emma is seemingly loving our haven as well.

The trip was my Birthday present from Nicholas and I must say it was just perfect. We went the day after my Birthday and we had such a great time together. We shopped, ate, and were just plain silly. We even were able to get Emma in the pool which she hated at first but loved eventually. There was a ledge for her to walk in the pool and she walked like she was on the moon or something which was hilarious.

Picture of the lane going down to the Covered Bridge we explored while Emma napped

This is the place that never ceases to be able to sooth my soul and completely rejuvenate me. It is a miraculous thing. When returned from vacation I found Nicholas and I were teasing one another like when we were dating in college and I felt ready to have this baby. It was as though my heart had said, okay, I am now prepared, lets do this.